My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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