I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
