i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
