I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize