Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
