I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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