I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
