After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
