Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
