if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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