out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
50% drunk capacity currently
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
