The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
