did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize