Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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