Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Randomize