Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
