I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
