we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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