Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
