i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
