i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
