So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize