the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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