talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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