I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
