if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Randomize
