I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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