I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
