halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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