Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
