he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
