what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
