You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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