Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Randomize
