and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
