Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
