How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
