yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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