Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
vagina is talking i cant
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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