I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
