Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
