I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
