she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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