Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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