Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
