my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
