You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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