I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
