when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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