It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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