road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Holy sore nipples Batman
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
