Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
