I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
