Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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