in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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