Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
