just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
