epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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