So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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