did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
