Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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